nine

I have spent much of my life hiding myself, careful not to step on toes, or say or do the wrong thing, for fear of upsetting or even harming others.

Not because I care for others, though on some level I do. But because I care for me, and, often doubting my capacity, I build relationships to protect me.

In seeking not to offend, ironically, I hold back myself. Those people I really want to connect with have little to relate to, and are left wondering who I really am.

When I do let people in, and let them see me, and they start to get close, I can feel overwhelmed and withdraw, unable to invest fully in those relationships.

I am an Enneagram nine. Welcome to my world.

This year, having had 12 months of practice, I am going to hone in on sharing more, in the context of my journey as an Enneagram nine.

Many of my posts have been around finding my voice, holding back, struggling to know how best to engage and use my power well. For those who are new or jumped in part way, here’s a taste of what to expect.